There will be tears, or other bodily fluids. An emotional night ahead, not only to celebrate the union of Matts Jarrett and Scott, but to also binge on twisted noise, farewell sets and dark literary undercurrents. Hosts Balloon you should know as drunks firstly, but primarily as promoters whose nights mix live music with spoken word to great effect; this event is them at their grotesquely terrifying best. It’s going to be brilliant.

KONG, based on their last appearance round these parts, rock like some acid-scarred Godzilla, churning together creepy post-punk crawling, detuned spazz sections and nutso attack rock that is as scary as it is exhilaratingly, tunefully good. Secretly they are very nice people, I’m sure. BYRON VINCENT and CHRIS KILLEN are your hand-picked authors for the evening; bear in mind Balloon have never picked a boring, standard author for their shows. And if you don’t turn up early for BRANDYMAN’s last ever, ever gig I will personally kill you; Cardiff’s premier fourpiece (Kaskie of Death Of Her Money will be Matt Thomas’s stand in for this show – better get the deck shoes on) leave the live arena after a brief and stunning year-and-a-bit’s worth of twisty rock riffing, super-tight power moves and DC Gates’s caustic, blankly hilarious verbiage. They were the best. Do not miss a single repulsive second.

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‘Balloon’ has put on music and literature nights around Cardiff for 18 months now, this is by far the most ambitious. And loudest.

Headlining are mask wearing noise merchants Kong. For fans of Shellac, Fugazi, bleeding ears and ginger men in pants. Dan Carter from Radio One says that they’re “one of the best live bands in the UK right now”; the only debate is who’s better? They will be ably supported by some riff loving locals and two Northerners.

Mancunian author Chris Killen had his first novel ‘The Birdroom’ was published in 2009 by Canongate. It’s funny, dark, disturbing and desolate; unsurprisingly, Steve from Kong is a fan.

Byron Vincent is another from the North West but is now based in Bristol. He is a very funny man. Wry observations, a lot of creative swearing and a way with words that Half Man Half Biscuit would be proud of makes Vincent a talent not to be missed.

Brandyman sound a bit like Mark E Smith fronting Audioslave. They rock. They’re from Cardiff but their singer is from the North West of England. There seems to be a theme here.

It’s an early show (first act on 7.15) but it’s a royal wedding bank holiday so you’ll all be off work. No excuses for getting there late. Curfew is 10.15pm but Gary Twisted follows us with an indie disco. Get in.

Over 18 only

Tickets available here – http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=gb_wales&query=detail&event=437223

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