In a sure to be landmark approach to reviewing live music, we now present the launch party gig for the┬ásplit 7″ single of the two headlining bands (released on fine local label Barely Regal), in the form of verbatim drunken comments.

2: Are you going to network now?
1: Piss off.
3: My stomach hurts. I’m going to Burger King.
2: How will that help?
1: Let’s give Phantom Theory a chance.
3: (Silence)
2: (Silence)
1: (Silence)
3: I’m going to Burger King.
2: They make me want to peel my skin off. And frown a bit.
1: They’re popular with the MEN.
Phantom Theory: We’re from Oxford but we’re not posh.
2: They sound very posh.
1: I bet at least one of them is the son of an MP.
2: I’m going to Dempseys.
3: This band make me want to never be born.
1: Oh dear.
(After Dempseys)
1: I’m going to get a 7″.
Matt Barely Regal: I hate DHL. They haven’t delivered them yet.
Isaac Barely Regal: I saw you in the toilets.
1: Okay.
2: Strange News are on in a minute, I hope Foley pretends his bass is a giant cock again.
1: These are exactly the same jokes as Wednesday night! Look, the clipboard’s coming out now.
3: …
1: MANROCK (but good)
2: Grinding. They are good.
3: They are good.
Foley (slumped against wall): Take me drunk, I’m home…
2: Samoans. I like the fiddly guitar fingering stuff.
3: Yeah, maybe the singer should stop screaming.
Jarrett: (We can’t publish this comment – Ed.)
1: So much MANROCK (and still good)
2: Emotive.
3: Hmm. My stomach is better now. This means I can drink.
1: My hands are sticky and I can hear ‘Louie Louie’.
2: Sambuca. And I love Gary.
1: We’ve stopped talking about Samoans haven’t we?
Jimmy Strange News: Yaargh (grabs cock)
1: Aaargh!
3: Where are my badges?
2: Where are my shoes?!

ETC

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